Does Your Teen Have Back to School Anxiety? (I Did)

I'll never forget middle school orientation. A bunch of awkward pre-teens, each sitting next to their parents in a gym built nearly a century before, with a sound system to match. Despite the expansive floor, the only thing on it was a middle-aged man speaking through a microphone, telling us how to read our schedules and find our lockers.

I was already nervous about middle school. Gym class was especially horrifying. Getting undressed in front of a bunch of people and being evaluated on my ability to do chin-ups? I'd rather die.

But, true to most anxieties, what I feared wasn’t what ended up being the problem. For me, that day, it was trying to figure out how to work the combination lock on my locker. I just couldn't get it.

My mother was patient, but I was freaking out. I knew if I could never open my locker, I could never put anything in it. I'd have to carry everything I needed for a full day of classes at all times, including gym class. What would I do with my stuff while I was in the shower of doom? 

Middle school came and went, and soon it was the week before my first week of high school. Again, I was terrified. My middle school was relatively small, but my high school was huge by comparison—2,200 kids. It felt like a labyrinth. But, just as before, everything I worried about wasn't really a problem. Instead, there were a few unexpected challenges waiting to blow up in my face.

I'm nearly 40 now. You'd think I'd see the pattern. I suppose I do. I'm writing about it, after all. Yet, I still have anxiety that is severe at times. Patterns are logical, anxiety isn't. Patterns are helpful, anxiety isn’t.

So, How Can We Help Teens Through This?

Empathy is a good place to start. Do you remember any times in your teen years when you were completely terrified? Share them. When kids look up to an adult, they see the finished product of adolescence, not the battle scars. Tell them about your battles, and it might help them with theirs.

Identify the Root of the Anxiety. I'm not a therapist, psychologist, or doctor, but I am human and occasionally have periods of extreme nuttiness. Sometimes anxiety doesn't have a clear, logical root cause, and professional help is needed. But when it does have a root cause, often it's from a fear of failure. If a kid is bad at history and they're signed up for an honors history class, there's going to be anxiety. If a kid can't dribble a basketball without kicking it (story to follow, someday…) gym class is going to raise their blood pressure. If a kid performs poorly in math and is entering a math class they're worried about, they're going to be anxious.

Building a Proven Track Record

I can't speak for all anxious people, but what's helped me over the years is a proven track record of success in the areas I'm anxious about. If you're anxious about walking a mile every day, but you do it for 20 days in a row, that anxiety tends to diminish. Even if it pops up, you can remind yourself of your track record. For me, this works.

Professionally, this is part of what I do for my math students. I specialize in students who are failing and often have horrible math anxiety. It's understandable. They're told that doing well in math is pivotal to their future, yet they feel they're failing.

Who wouldn't be anxious about that? Who wouldn't hate that? Who wouldn't want to say screw it and give up?

Meeting Students Where They Are

This is why I always meet students where they are. It doesn't make sense to try to explain Calculus to a student who doesn't understand pre-algebra. Unfortunately, the way our school system currently works, many students are in this boat. But under my guidance, we make achievable goals. Students start to see they CAN do math, they fill in their gaps, gain confidence, and this snowballs into success.

I've been teaching for over 20 years. I've been managing anxiety for about 40. I like to think I'm pretty good at both.

In fact, I have such faith in my program that I guarantee I can raise all of my students 2 grade levels, or get them to grade level, in just 12 weeks.

I'd love to personally meet with you to discuss how I can help. Use the button below to schedule a quick 10 minute call.